Welcome to my little page of puns. This should be enough to make a groan man cry. I'll appologize in advance, for, as you notice, there's no pun indented. |
| 1 | She had both seats upholstered with the same pattern so they could chair and chair alike. |
| 2 | While having desert in a Mexican restaurant, the man complained about a strange odor coming from the kitchen. The waiter explained, "Don't you know that thyme fries while your having flan?" |
| 3 | When we went on safari we saw the lions with their prides and the alpha male wolves with their packs...it was reigning cats and dogs. |
| 4 | Ask a French census taker what he's looking at and he might respond, "common tally view?" |
| 5 | Two huge bucks alternately snorting in an ancient European forest were having a hart to hart talk. |
| 6 | The cross-eyed man with a queasy stomach just had pair of sights. |
| 7 | The bedridden patient just can't help fidgeting while reading Salinger...it must be because his catheter is awry. |
| 8 | They tried to paint pin-stripes on the cat's rear appendage, but someone had already detailed it. |
| 9 | After the earthquake is finished, why don't you disaster what she saw? |
| 10 | The teams hired a band to play down at the lanes for the bowling ball. |
| 11 | When I wanted desert with lunch at eleven, the waiter asked me to come back in three hours so I could have my cake and eat at two. |
| 12 | Mom wouldn't let us paint our eyes for Halloween because mascara. |
| 13 | The lawyer teamed up with a psychiatrist and studied weaving because he had a basket case. |
| 14 | An agricultural university must be a brain elevator. |
| 15 | A man needed to find a job, so he made himself a hat with lots of built in gadgets because he heard they were hiring the handy capped. |
| 16 | If you're considering a diet, remember: a waist is a terrible thing to mind. |
| 17 | Molasses hurt his mouth, but the dentist said it was just sore gum. |
| 18 | A dim-witted cow-like creature is an oxymoron. |
| 19 | I was trying to sell a list of my superstitions, omens, and premonitions when I got in trouble for peddling my 'wares. |
| 20 | The man was in an accident so bad that the surgeon had to amputate his left side...he's all right now. |
| 21 | A hit man complained of a headache after executing the bread man. His accomplice told him angrily, "take the pills, bury dough boy." |
| 22 | Looking into the water in the bay where two large fish prevented the smaller fish from multiplying, one fisherman pointed and said to the other, "there, but for the brace of cod go fry." |
| 23 | There were 7 countries with 7 atomic weapons; it was abomination. |
| 24 | The priest of a large parish was in the middle of his Sunday rites when the hurricane struck; it was mass hysteria. |
| 25 | Every time the actress saw him it cooled her off because he was such a great fan. |
| 26 | When we went to Asia we saw a man in an orchard who was being challenged by the fruit...they were man daring oranges. |
| 27 | When you destroy something you tear it down and when you devastate something you ruin it; so how come we don't say a ghost town is developed and call those who shun the polls devoted? |
| 28 | The carpenter asked his architect for advice because he liked constructive criticism. |
| 29 | The medieval patriarch was often barely audible as he moaned; the peasants called him sigher. |
